uptightness: (pb } what was)
Agent Carolina ([personal profile] uptightness) wrote in [community profile] acatalepsy_ooc 2019-01-28 11:34 pm (UTC)

[Right. Carolina can't exactly say that she was drinking that kool-aid at the moment, so it's still a toss up about how much of that she believes. She has her own issues to deal with back home anyway, although the sight of York- even if it may not actually be York but some imagination or dream- does make her pause. They'd once been close, and Carolina knows she's to blame for the distance, putting work first and foremost, and in the end, before everything including her team mates.

The mention of Delta does have her creasing her forehead, trying to gauge. She knew what had happened to York, and what had happened to Delta. How she knew that would take a little explaining. Her own partnership had been less than ideal, and in the end she had lost both of her AI to the Meta. She'd 'functioned' better with Epsilon, the brother that she had never actually had in the first place, but even in the end, he had sacrificed himself. York and Delta though...

In some ways he still knows her well enough, because her mouth had started to open, to say something else, but that hand stayed her, at least for the moment. Yet there is that shake of her head. He could have come to her, but the results would have been more or less the same. She wouldn't have believed it, as why should she have? It had all seemed to far-fetched, but she knew now that it wasn't.]


I guess you can say it took falling from a cliff for me to open my eyes.

[It's that first admission, another wrong in her life. People had thought that she was dead, and she had been fine letting them think that. It had taken some time to pick up the pieces, to start to put the puzzle together on her own, and even then it had been rather lacking. Even then she hadn't reached out to anyone, although it had been a little too late for most anyway.

And even if this isn't real, if this is all a farce... There's a millions things that Carolina has thought of saying to him, a million things that she would never get to say to him... How she survived when so many others hadn't still doesn't quite make sense to her. Then again, being good doesn't always mean you'll win in the end. How she is sorry for the elevator, sorry for hurting him, sorry for not looking for him, for any of them after...]


You weren't wrong about a lot of things, you know, York. I just didn't want to be found.

[And with that, he did deserve better. Deserved someone who would have trusted him, who would have listened to him, who wouldn't have just blindly followed what the Director was saying. The clues had been there, but she's turned a blind eye to it and continued on as if it hadn't existed.]

I made mistakes. I hurt people. I hurt you. I'm the one that's sorry, York. The one that owes you and everyone else an apology. If I had- [But she's been down that road a lot. Sleep is a fickle mistress for her, and its thoughts like that that keep her up. Her failures, having the temple scene happen over and over again and her not able to help anyone.]

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