[He just had to ask that question didn't he? Why was Roy Mustang an idiot? Maes doesn't know if he can articulate right now the real answer to that question, but if Roy's going to ask then he's just going to have to try, isn't he?]

Okay. First off, I'm not those other people asking you this question. Your reputation means absolutely nothing to me and I know good and damn well what the rumors are and that they are also garbage.

Second [here he helpfully holds up two fingers], I have been watching you two tiptoe around each other since the goddamn war. I haven't heard her side of things, but it doesn't take an ace detective to listen to you for all of five minutes and know how you feel about her. I mean, were you listening to yourself just now? People don't talk like that about just anyone working with them like that. And yes, I don't care how much you might outrank her, it's with not under for you two and it always has been.

And that brings me to my third reason for calling you an idiot. [He gestures with three fingers, very emphatically. Can you tell he's drunk yet? Because if not the next part should really clear that up.] If you think I'm going to come back from being fucking dead just to watch you miss your damn opportunity again then Roy Mustang I will shout it from the rooftop that you are a goddamn idiot!