[Even drunk, Maes has an itchy feeling of regret after playing the 'I'm dead' card. In his defense his emotions are still pretty raw on that and the alcohol isn't exactly helping. However, it isn't fair to throw that back at Roy when he'd JUST told him a little bit ago that he didn't blame him. He still didn't, but he knows Roy will cling to that because the man can't let things go.
It doesn't help that he really only has Roy's word to go on about his death. Not that he doubts Roy's words (his emotions are clear on that front) and of course, he felt it in certain ways. His arrival here had been pain and blood and then it was gone. He was whole again and felt a warm hand on his back. But it wasn't like he'd seen his own body, or the crime scene, or the funeral. Honestly, he hadn't really thought about the funeral until just now.
He pictures Gracia and Elicia there. God, what had he put them through? Here he is nagging Roy about getting a wife, about doing something about Riza, when he can't even bother to protect his own.
Maes slowly sets his cup down with one hand and using the other to push his glasses up, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and fingers. He cautiously takes a breath, that lump in his throat swelling. Maybe getting drunk hadn't been the best idea after all. He lets out the breath. He thinks back to a conversation from during the war with Roy. What had he said then? ...I'll smile when I'm with her. I swear on my life, I will make her happy.. He'd sworn to make her happy and yet...
...and yet...
He takes another breath. He's not going to do this right now. Goddamn it. Pull yourself together. You can't do this right now. He realizes Roy has fallen silent again, he's done talking, and Maes lets the silence linger for a moment. He's afraid of what he might sound like. He forces himself to push it down.]
I'm sorry Roy. I shouldn't have brought it up. You know me, I've always been the helpless romantic. I think...I think as long as you are both happy that's what is really important.
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It doesn't help that he really only has Roy's word to go on about his death. Not that he doubts Roy's words (his emotions are clear on that front) and of course, he felt it in certain ways. His arrival here had been pain and blood and then it was gone. He was whole again and felt a warm hand on his back. But it wasn't like he'd seen his own body, or the crime scene, or the funeral. Honestly, he hadn't really thought about the funeral until just now.
He pictures Gracia and Elicia there. God, what had he put them through? Here he is nagging Roy about getting a wife, about doing something about Riza, when he can't even bother to protect his own.
Maes slowly sets his cup down with one hand and using the other to push his glasses up, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and fingers. He cautiously takes a breath, that lump in his throat swelling. Maybe getting drunk hadn't been the best idea after all. He lets out the breath. He thinks back to a conversation from during the war with Roy. What had he said then? ...I'll smile when I'm with her. I swear on my life, I will make her happy.. He'd sworn to make her happy and yet...
...and yet...
He takes another breath. He's not going to do this right now. Goddamn it. Pull yourself together. You can't do this right now. He realizes Roy has fallen silent again, he's done talking, and Maes lets the silence linger for a moment. He's afraid of what he might sound like. He forces himself to push it down.]
I'm sorry Roy. I shouldn't have brought it up. You know me, I've always been the helpless romantic. I think...I think as long as you are both happy that's what is really important.