acatalepsy_ooc | test drive meme # 3

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test drive meme # 3

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test drive meme #3

It happens in the blink of an eye.

One moment, you are home. Perhaps you are with your family, perhaps you are at work. It's a completely normal day . . . and then, suddenly, your stomach drops. You are overcome with a sudden sense of vertigo. You cannot see up, or down, or where you are.

All you hear is a voice -- light, bubbly, warm, soothing, in your ear:

Don't worry, darling. This won't hurt a bit~ ♥

For those who recognize the voice, it will sound a bit strained. Possibly tired. But the moment happens so quickly it's hard to pin down, and once that moment is over, you fall flat on your face. It's bright, warm, and humid. It takes a few seconds for you to gain composure and catch your breath. You think, for half a moment, that a hand is on your back, rubbing between your shoulder blades in comfort, but when you open your eyes, no one is there. You are surrounded by ancient stone buildings, with carvings you do not recognize etched into the stone. There's a sense of nausea, overwhelming and sudden, when you realize you aren't in Kansas anymore.

Even worse, it looks like the tinier inhabitants of the Forest of the Fey are acting a little cheeky.

THE TEMPLE OF BEGINNINGS.

Welcome to the "Home Base" of Astoria's Circle. What the actual name of the base is called is lost to the ages, and there's no sense of where you could find it, unless you started asking around.

At any rate, this is a central hub of the Circle, a place of powerful magic and mysterious energy. It is a scattering of ancient stone buildings and for the most part, it looks abandoned . . . except for what seems to be a few items, some rooms taken, items moved or organized, even a small garden planted. These are just the smallest hints that there are people here that have been here before you arrived.

Overall, it's fairly beautiful. However, it is definitely not modern.

Upon exploration, you find that the buildings are kept up by some kind of magic. Some of the rooms have items, things from other Circle members already settled, and others appear to be unclaimed. Pick your rooms, explore the grounds, see the beauty and wonder all around you in such a magical place. However, be careful -- the sprites that reside within the Forest of the Fey seem to be exceptionally active, today, and tricks abound wherever you look.

KINGS AND QUEENS.

Typically, the sprites of the Forest of the Fey remain within the protective canopy of the surroundings. However, there seems to be something different in the air, and these little bastards are flitting about and giving out flower crowns to everyone. They are beautifully made, intricate and gloriously decorative, and most people would be happy to adorn one!

There's just one problem, though -- they don't come off. No matter how hard you try, those damn flower crowns are stuck on your head, and you cannot remove them no matter how hard you try. Hope you enjoy being a fairy princess for a day.

And, if you are alighted with a flower crown, your skin turns the same color as whatever flowers now sit upon your head. A wreath of blue roses? Congratulations, Violet Beauregard -- you're now as blue as a blueberry. The effect wears off in about an hour, and you can remove the flower crown then -- but have fun being every shade of the rainbow as the sprites take their time to torment the new arrivals.

BALLOONS FOR EVERYONE.

Normally, there are some animals that wander within the ancient stone buildings of the Temple. Tiny little white bats, sheep that grow on the vine . . . that sort of thing. However, the sprites have elected to add a little bit more flair the Temple, and balloon animals have invaded the living space. Where the sprites got the idea for balloon animals, no one can really be sure -- Astoria seems to think the sprites are waltzing through the spirit realm and seem to have garnered an idea there, whatever that's supposed to mean.

So, no matter where you go, there are balloon animals. Little dogs, brightly colored fish, dinosaurs, giraffes . . . except they seem to move, and make noise, and act like their real counterparts. Tiny balloon dogs nip at your heels, balloon fish flicker about in the waters that sprinkle themselves throughout the Forest, and balloon birds float through the skies.

Bonus? If you pop them, they explode into (biodegradable) glitter.

DECAYED DECADENCE.

Despite the shenanigans from the sprites, however, there seems to be something happening within the Temple that may be cause of concern. Flower crowns and balloon animals aside, there seem to be odd spots of the Temple that suddenly wilt . . . flowers that bend over and wither at a moment's notice, saplings that seem to creak as if suddenly dried from the inside out . . . and it seems, oddly enough, that it happens whenever you, an Arrival, get closer to the wild life.

Astoria seems to think that something is wrong . . . perhaps something the Circle members brought back from their last trip. An illness, or something more? Care to poke about and see how far you're willing to take it? Or does your magical gift enable the protection of plant growth? Try out your green thumb and see if you can help.

COMMUNICATIONS.

Upon arriving, you will notice on whichever is your non-dominant hand, you will have a fairly simply screen. A smart watch, if you will. Upon exploration, you will find that it has a directory of all those here with you at the Temple of Beginnings- names, and access to a direct message to them. The watch also has video, audio, and text capabilities, as well as what looks like a collection of messages sent to everyone who wishes to open them. This is your 'network', and also how Astoria can reach out and communicate with you.

There is nothing keeping you from removing and/or losing your watch! But remember that you will not have access to this network without it.

OOC: Also feel free to join us and other possible players on our discord server!

enjoy! ♥

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh.

[Hank makes an amused noise, recovering from the stumble Cayde's stumble sent him into with the ease of long experience.]

Already been under the table once tonight, so if we're keeping score I'm way ahead of you. Unless you just really like braggin about victories that actually, uh... [There's a snappy reply to that floating around in his brain somewhere, right? No? Okay.] ...aren't.

I promise [Emphasis on promise] you, I always come out on top. So if you're thinkin' you've got some aces in your pocket already you're dead wrong.

[They're almost to the kitchen now, and Cayde stops to shoulder a little more of the man's weight, just to make sure that the transition from grass to floor isn't disasterous.] You got a name? Otherwise I'm just gonna make one up, and I'm thinking you maybe look like a 'Randy'. Or maybe 'Slagathor'. Yeah, that one's got a good ring to it.

[Hank laughs so hard Cayde's going to have to work a little harder if he wants to keep Hank standing up.]

God, you're right, you know? It actually does. Kind of seems like you oughta keep the other name for yourself though, I mean, you're the one who's just gotta tell me how much you love being on top. Tell you what, you drink this already pretty drunk guy under his second table of the night, and then I'll tell you my name. How's that sound?

[That's okay, because it takes a minute for Cayde to get what his drinking budyy is getting at and then he's laughing too. The both of them might be a little unsteady until he's able to get a hand on a doorway in an attempt to keep them from tumbling.]

I mean, you're the one that's hung up on who's on top! [Another snort of laughter, and he claps his shoulder.] You got yourself a bet though, bud. Just, don't make it sound so lame!

Make what sound lame? My name or your grasp on innuendo? Cause, you know, I kinda feel like you could do better.

[Hank's not too worried if they do fall over. Falling over would be fine. He's in a surprisingly good mod, considering all the weird shit, so he's pretty confident that they'll get where they're going, eventually.]

[More laughter, this is absolutely ridiculous and he's loving it. After a month of being in an admittedly interesting kill-zone it's so Traveler-damned nice to get caught up in something like this.]

How about a little of column A, a little of column B. Believe me, I can do a lot better, so don't you disappoint with that name.

Shit, then I might have to make something up. What kind of names do you like? Engelbert Humperdinck, that's a classic one. What do you think, do I look like an Engelbert?

Engelbert? Okay, that's gotta be the lamest name I've ever heard and I've heard a lot. C'mon, you can do better than that, buddy, I have faith.

What? Englebert is hilarious.

[This is offensive, Cayde. Hank is offended.]

Let’s see, uh. Wonder if this’d be easier or harder if I wasn’t starting to sober up. Okay, how about Savage Bob the Dragonslayer, what’s your fancy name-expertise say about that one?

Edited 2018-08-30 19:19 (UTC)

I think that just means we need to get you to the wine a little quicker. [Yes he absolutely is poking fun, but this is fun so who cares? Not this exo.] I mean, you gotta live up to titles you throw around like that. How many dragons have you slain?

I don't have a single idea, and neither do you. Maybe I wouldn't fuckin know a dragon if I stepped on one. Maybe they're tiny. Maybe that was the thing I swatted in my kitchen yesterday. Or, hey, a guy I arrested a couple weeks ago, he called himself 'Dragon' and I slayed his ass right into a cell. That counts, right? I mean, how many've you got, you've got no room to get judgy about my name.

[His totally real and accurate name. That's at least a little bit more accurate than he thought it was. That's convenient.]

Hm, if we have to quantify it (is that even the right word? whatever), maybe that counts. Only if the guy spat fire at you though, could he do that? That would honestly be pretty interesting. [Bless u Hank]

And me? Nah, they're all extinct. I mean if we were back home I could go kick a skull or something. That count?

I don't know, does the skull breathe fire?

[Is his sarcasm obvious enough? Hank is absolutely not taking seriously the idea that, to Cayde, dragons might be real enough to have gone extinct in the first place, but that doesn't mean he can't give the guy shit about it.]

Besides, plenty of dragons don't have the fire thing. There's...

[Shit, he doesn't know dick about mythology.]

...probably a lot of Chinese ones. Besides, Dragon-the-hooligan could spit like a motherfucker. Not fire, but having mouth stuff going on, that's a dragon thing, right?

Edited 2018-09-08 00:25 (UTC)

Hey, I'm being honest here, cross my heart. A friend of mine has one slung up in his corner, he's real proud of it. One hell of a story if he's in the mood for telling it.

[It's alright, Hank, Cayde has zero idea of any old mythology beyond tall tales. There could absolutely have been dragons that didn't breathe fire.]

Mouth stuff, huh. Mouth. Stuff. [Is he grinning? Absolutely.]

So mouth stuff is now a requirement to be a dragon, huh? Bet there are a lot of dragons out there then.

[He's about decided to go with it on the idea of some guy having a real dragon skull, because this night is pretty weird already so what the hell, when he catches on to what Cayde is saying and breaks into loud, surprised laughter.]

So what do you do when you wanna, uh, slay one? You don't want to just slay any old Joe off the street, you got to know what you're dealing with. So how do you tell? Just go up to em and make sure you ask real nice?

[He laughs in return, attempting to clap Hank on the back as he maneuvers the both of them through a door. The kitchen is somewhere around here, right?]

Hey now, usually you take a dragon out to dinner before that kind of talk.

Oh, yeah. It's been a while, guess I uh, forgot that step.

[The clap on his back prompts him to try to bump his shoulder into Cayde's and then he leans forward, trying to look through a doorway that's coming up to tell if it looks kitchen-like.]

Guess I should brush up on my technique before I try to uh, live up to my name just yet, huh?

[He pretends to stagger when Hank collides into him, bumping into the wall like he's going to lose their balance. Everything is fine, though, and after a few stumbly seconds they're back on track enough for Cayde to shove Hank through a nearby doorway and into the kitchen. Mercifully, it seems like no one's around right now, and that's honestly probably for the best given the level of shenanigans that they're up to.]

You do you, my good man! Or the dragons, whichever, I'm not here to judge. I'm here to drink and get your elusive real name.

Probably for the best, I haven't cooked in years anyway.

[Hank's thinking first getting back his balance from being shoved through a doorway, second about looking around for some drawers or cabinets or some kind of pantry that might hold what they're here for, and only third about what he's saying, so it's a second before he realizes what he just said.

And, you know what? In the spirit of the night, he decides not to worry about it. There's something that looks like a pantry over there; he wanders up to it and looks inside.]

What are we looking for again? Some kinda wine?

Can't get anything by you.

[He jokes, keeping an eye on Hank's movement for just a moment to make sure he doesn't go tumbling down. When it looks like the man has his bearings, as much as someone can when they're three sheets to the wind, he hums quietly under his breath and gives no extra thoughts to the potential for disaster. Instead, he's far more invested in throwing open some of the cabinets even if he's not necessarily looking terribly hard through any of them. It's loud and a bit chaotic and feels perfect for the moment.]

It kind of shows up randomly, just gotta hope there's still some here.

Randomly? What, it just decides when it wants to be here?

[Hank initially joins in on the louder-than-strictly-necessary searching but it isn't long before he gets distracted, taking his time to look at things no matter how wine-like they aren't.]

This kitchen's weird. You wanted anything you'd have to make it from scratch. Look at this, I haven't seen real, hand ground flour in...

[He thinks about it, and thinks about it, then summarizes the time frame he's thinking about by blowing air out his mouth in a long farting noise.]

And this oven!

[He tosses the flour away, paying no attention to the clinking of glass when whatever the flour hit falls over. He tries to crouch next to the oven, wobbles, and decides to kneel, instead.]

Would you have to actually cut wood to make this work? My grandma didn't even have one of these. Her mom had one. Shit. I'd say this shit's old as balls, but it's not. I mean, unless someone takes care of it really well.

Hell if I know, I'm assuming our mysterious benefactor has something to do with it. Either that or someone's been snapping all it up and if that's the case me 'n them are going to have some pretty big words.

[Everything has always been a little off about the temple, but Cayde's only kept his thoughts about it to passing, fleeting moments so it's actually somewhat a surprise to hear Hank go off on the kitchen itself. Not that he can blame the man, everything here is so technologically backwards that it's almost funny, but he'd assumed that it was at least somewhat familiar to some of their ilk.]

I know there are some people here that are real big on the whole cooking thing, so I guess we've got that going for us? But nah, you're right. Maybe it's not weird, but it's definitely...quaint? Is that the word for it, I don't know.

I don't know about that. I'd call it nice, if usin it wouldn't be such a pain in the ass. Like somethin you'd see in a museum.

[He considers the stove for a second longer, then twists around to look again at the flour he tossed away. He does find it but it's actually not that interesting, compared to the thing it knocked over when he threw it. Hank has to stretch out to reach for the bottle, far enough that he just gives up and flops over on his side, but soon enough he's got it and he raises it in the air over his head, triumphantly.]

Guess you won't have to have those big words after all. I mean, unless they were good words, in which case go right ahead, but- [He shakes the bottle with a smile. He's got wine; he doesn't need the end of his sentence.]

[Any quip that he could ever come up with in response summarily dies in his throat as their prize is pulled from the dusty barrens of traveler-knows-where. Truly, Hank is a hero today, no matter how inebriated and sprawled out across the floor he may be.]

You magnificent sonovagun, I think you're my new favorite person.

[This is a major win for the both of them, for teetoalers everywhere, and Cayde's unabashedly laughing as he kneels down and offers a hand out. Whether it's for the bottle or to help Hank up, even he's not sure.]

C'mon, up.

[He gets both, Hank slapping the hand holding the bottle into Cayde's and letting Cayde just do whatever he decides to do from there.]

So, how're we doing this? Some kind of contest, or do we just chug?

Do you chug wine. Is that a thing. Shit, can you even drink? I think I asked that already.

[Hank really was sobering up just earlier, wasn't he? Well, this loose, silly feeling probably isn't all from what he was drinking earlier tonight. Some of it, maybe, but some of it's probably from being tired, and some - well, some of it's probably just relief, blowback from the release of finally just bullshitting with someone, someone fun and laid back and funny, about shit that doesn't matter. It might not last - it might not even be real, if all this turns out to be some kind of accidental drug trip - but Hank is more than willing to roll with this as far as it'll take him, as long as it keeps on feeling good.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

test drive meme # 3

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oh my god hank

hank's good at this being friendly thing

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