acatalepsy_ooc | test drive meme # 3

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test drive meme # 3

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test drive meme #3

It happens in the blink of an eye.

One moment, you are home. Perhaps you are with your family, perhaps you are at work. It's a completely normal day . . . and then, suddenly, your stomach drops. You are overcome with a sudden sense of vertigo. You cannot see up, or down, or where you are.

All you hear is a voice -- light, bubbly, warm, soothing, in your ear:

Don't worry, darling. This won't hurt a bit~ ♥

For those who recognize the voice, it will sound a bit strained. Possibly tired. But the moment happens so quickly it's hard to pin down, and once that moment is over, you fall flat on your face. It's bright, warm, and humid. It takes a few seconds for you to gain composure and catch your breath. You think, for half a moment, that a hand is on your back, rubbing between your shoulder blades in comfort, but when you open your eyes, no one is there. You are surrounded by ancient stone buildings, with carvings you do not recognize etched into the stone. There's a sense of nausea, overwhelming and sudden, when you realize you aren't in Kansas anymore.

Even worse, it looks like the tinier inhabitants of the Forest of the Fey are acting a little cheeky.

THE TEMPLE OF BEGINNINGS.

Welcome to the "Home Base" of Astoria's Circle. What the actual name of the base is called is lost to the ages, and there's no sense of where you could find it, unless you started asking around.

At any rate, this is a central hub of the Circle, a place of powerful magic and mysterious energy. It is a scattering of ancient stone buildings and for the most part, it looks abandoned . . . except for what seems to be a few items, some rooms taken, items moved or organized, even a small garden planted. These are just the smallest hints that there are people here that have been here before you arrived.

Overall, it's fairly beautiful. However, it is definitely not modern.

Upon exploration, you find that the buildings are kept up by some kind of magic. Some of the rooms have items, things from other Circle members already settled, and others appear to be unclaimed. Pick your rooms, explore the grounds, see the beauty and wonder all around you in such a magical place. However, be careful -- the sprites that reside within the Forest of the Fey seem to be exceptionally active, today, and tricks abound wherever you look.

KINGS AND QUEENS.

Typically, the sprites of the Forest of the Fey remain within the protective canopy of the surroundings. However, there seems to be something different in the air, and these little bastards are flitting about and giving out flower crowns to everyone. They are beautifully made, intricate and gloriously decorative, and most people would be happy to adorn one!

There's just one problem, though -- they don't come off. No matter how hard you try, those damn flower crowns are stuck on your head, and you cannot remove them no matter how hard you try. Hope you enjoy being a fairy princess for a day.

And, if you are alighted with a flower crown, your skin turns the same color as whatever flowers now sit upon your head. A wreath of blue roses? Congratulations, Violet Beauregard -- you're now as blue as a blueberry. The effect wears off in about an hour, and you can remove the flower crown then -- but have fun being every shade of the rainbow as the sprites take their time to torment the new arrivals.

BALLOONS FOR EVERYONE.

Normally, there are some animals that wander within the ancient stone buildings of the Temple. Tiny little white bats, sheep that grow on the vine . . . that sort of thing. However, the sprites have elected to add a little bit more flair the Temple, and balloon animals have invaded the living space. Where the sprites got the idea for balloon animals, no one can really be sure -- Astoria seems to think the sprites are waltzing through the spirit realm and seem to have garnered an idea there, whatever that's supposed to mean.

So, no matter where you go, there are balloon animals. Little dogs, brightly colored fish, dinosaurs, giraffes . . . except they seem to move, and make noise, and act like their real counterparts. Tiny balloon dogs nip at your heels, balloon fish flicker about in the waters that sprinkle themselves throughout the Forest, and balloon birds float through the skies.

Bonus? If you pop them, they explode into (biodegradable) glitter.

DECAYED DECADENCE.

Despite the shenanigans from the sprites, however, there seems to be something happening within the Temple that may be cause of concern. Flower crowns and balloon animals aside, there seem to be odd spots of the Temple that suddenly wilt . . . flowers that bend over and wither at a moment's notice, saplings that seem to creak as if suddenly dried from the inside out . . . and it seems, oddly enough, that it happens whenever you, an Arrival, get closer to the wild life.

Astoria seems to think that something is wrong . . . perhaps something the Circle members brought back from their last trip. An illness, or something more? Care to poke about and see how far you're willing to take it? Or does your magical gift enable the protection of plant growth? Try out your green thumb and see if you can help.

COMMUNICATIONS.

Upon arriving, you will notice on whichever is your non-dominant hand, you will have a fairly simply screen. A smart watch, if you will. Upon exploration, you will find that it has a directory of all those here with you at the Temple of Beginnings- names, and access to a direct message to them. The watch also has video, audio, and text capabilities, as well as what looks like a collection of messages sent to everyone who wishes to open them. This is your 'network', and also how Astoria can reach out and communicate with you.

There is nothing keeping you from removing and/or losing your watch! But remember that you will not have access to this network without it.

OOC: Also feel free to join us and other possible players on our discord server!

enjoy! ♥

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He looks up from his feet, eyebrows raised. Well, isn't that an ominous question.]

Shit, no one's had to ask me that in, uh... a while.

[He thinks about that for a couple seconds, swaying very gently, considering his options and whether he really wants to know.]

You sure it's not a dream? Cause I never even heard of anywhere where they make guys like you. Maybe Russia.

Uh, fuck it, lay it on me. Guess I drunk enough to handle some bad news.

I mean, I know I'm basically a dream come true but lucky for everyone here this is reality. [It's easier to mitigate the low-level horror of the situation with a joke; being displaced from house and home hasn't been something that he's particuarlly been amused about, but it wouldn't help to obsess over everything. Too much dour thought would certainly spiral into something dark, after all.] And Russia? Ha!

[He falls quiet for a moment though, the amusement and humor draining away. Should he take a diplomatic approach to this?]

I mean, the truth of it is that you're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. And you're stuck here with the rest of us. Basically think of it as a really screwed up vacation from your everyday life. [...apparently the answer is no.]

Toto?

[Yeah, he drank enough to handle this. He knows that now, because that is the first part of that statement that his brain latches onto.]

Come on, I don't come off like a little yappy dog, do I? Thought I'd at least rate myself a Dorothy. Or, uh-

[Hank shifts his weight - carefully - to look down at himself.]

-Maybe the Tin Man, before he got all lubed up.

[The Tin Man, when they first met him, looked kind of gross. Hank looks kind of gross. The math works out.]

[Y'know? He can appreciate that being the most important thing right now.]

Mmmm....maybe the lion? I'm getting it from the hair? [He taps his fingers against his chin as he thinks.] Though you've got a hell of a roar, so maybe not.

[Hell, it makes as much sense as anything else in this world. Why not?]

Or are you tellin' me you're heartless? [A pause, and there's wry amusement in his tone.] Or that you need to be lubed up?

[Hank huffs, watching the guy, his tone matching the other guy's amusement.]

I don't know, you wanna pick me up, tell me what a mighty roar I got, and then not lube me, that's up to you. No promises if you don't, though, pretty sure I've gone all rusty.

[He wiggles his fingers in demonstration, the movement all jerking and slow like his joints need oiling, and then grins crookedly.]

[That? That earns a full on bark of laughter, Cayde's mouth lights shining brighter and brighter with each subsequent peal that he's not able, or willing, to fight back.]

Tou-hecking-che! I stand defeated by yoru miraculous wordplay, bud. [He raises a browplate at the motions, and then theatrically tsks and shakes his head in return.] Don't be joking about those though, sometimes the old servos get locked up and it's a hell of a thing to work the kinks out.

[And here they are, standing next to a dead sapling, somehow joking about. It's nice, really.] But if you're needing something to grease your gears, between you and me there's wine stashed back in the temple area.

[Hair of the dog? Hair of the dog.]

[Any awkwardness that tries to come back when the guy mentions servos, reminding Hank he's probably talking to some kind of android, if a weird one - drains right away again when he mentions drinking. Wine, yeah, but still.]

Shit, and you made me think this was gonna be a bad dream. Come on, why aren't we there already?

[Hank reaches toward him, wanting to put a hand on his shoulder and steer them both toward a randomly chosen building - fuck if he knows where the temple area is, but this guy sounds like he knows, so that's fine.]

Wait, can you guys even drink? Doesn't it fuck up your... [Hell if he knows what androids are made of.] ...whatever?

[Another round of laughter, and he's entirely amicable with letting his newfound acquaintance (friend? who knows?) try to steer him back towards the buildings. They're headed in the wrong direction, but who cares? It's never about the destination, it's about the journey.] Well, I could have been there. You're the one wandering around without your pants.

[That's still funny, fyi. Cayde does take a little pity on the both of them and starts to course correct towards the kitchen.]

And I definitely can drink, no different than anyone else here. [Wait, hold on a minute.] Oh, uh. Cayde, Cayde-6. And you?

What?

[Hank's brain, kind of slow at the moment and still thinking about drinking with no pants on, struggles to figure out what track this guy just switched the conversation to.]

Cayde-6?

[He shakes his head, his voice maybe making it clear he has no idea what that means. They were just talking about drinking; is that some kind of drink?]

I've always been a scotch man, myself. Never heard of that other stuff. Is that something from uh, Russia, or wherever you're not from?

[Wait, what? That throws his processors for a loop and Cayde misses a step as he's summarily distracted trying to figure out what in the actual heck? Thankfully he regains his footing rather quickly, thus preventing the both of them from eating dirt, but when it finally dawns on him what in the world is going on he groans good-naturedly.]

No, no. That's my name. Generally it's considered polite to introduce yourself to the guy you're gonna be drinking under the table.

[Is that a challenge? It might be a challenge.]

Oh.

[Hank makes an amused noise, recovering from the stumble Cayde's stumble sent him into with the ease of long experience.]

Already been under the table once tonight, so if we're keeping score I'm way ahead of you. Unless you just really like braggin about victories that actually, uh... [There's a snappy reply to that floating around in his brain somewhere, right? No? Okay.] ...aren't.

I promise [Emphasis on promise] you, I always come out on top. So if you're thinkin' you've got some aces in your pocket already you're dead wrong.

[They're almost to the kitchen now, and Cayde stops to shoulder a little more of the man's weight, just to make sure that the transition from grass to floor isn't disasterous.] You got a name? Otherwise I'm just gonna make one up, and I'm thinking you maybe look like a 'Randy'. Or maybe 'Slagathor'. Yeah, that one's got a good ring to it.

[Hank laughs so hard Cayde's going to have to work a little harder if he wants to keep Hank standing up.]

God, you're right, you know? It actually does. Kind of seems like you oughta keep the other name for yourself though, I mean, you're the one who's just gotta tell me how much you love being on top. Tell you what, you drink this already pretty drunk guy under his second table of the night, and then I'll tell you my name. How's that sound?

[That's okay, because it takes a minute for Cayde to get what his drinking budyy is getting at and then he's laughing too. The both of them might be a little unsteady until he's able to get a hand on a doorway in an attempt to keep them from tumbling.]

I mean, you're the one that's hung up on who's on top! [Another snort of laughter, and he claps his shoulder.] You got yourself a bet though, bud. Just, don't make it sound so lame!

Make what sound lame? My name or your grasp on innuendo? Cause, you know, I kinda feel like you could do better.

[Hank's not too worried if they do fall over. Falling over would be fine. He's in a surprisingly good mod, considering all the weird shit, so he's pretty confident that they'll get where they're going, eventually.]

[More laughter, this is absolutely ridiculous and he's loving it. After a month of being in an admittedly interesting kill-zone it's so Traveler-damned nice to get caught up in something like this.]

How about a little of column A, a little of column B. Believe me, I can do a lot better, so don't you disappoint with that name.

Shit, then I might have to make something up. What kind of names do you like? Engelbert Humperdinck, that's a classic one. What do you think, do I look like an Engelbert?

Engelbert? Okay, that's gotta be the lamest name I've ever heard and I've heard a lot. C'mon, you can do better than that, buddy, I have faith.

What? Englebert is hilarious.

[This is offensive, Cayde. Hank is offended.]

Let’s see, uh. Wonder if this’d be easier or harder if I wasn’t starting to sober up. Okay, how about Savage Bob the Dragonslayer, what’s your fancy name-expertise say about that one?

Edited 2018-08-30 19:19 (UTC)

I think that just means we need to get you to the wine a little quicker. [Yes he absolutely is poking fun, but this is fun so who cares? Not this exo.] I mean, you gotta live up to titles you throw around like that. How many dragons have you slain?

I don't have a single idea, and neither do you. Maybe I wouldn't fuckin know a dragon if I stepped on one. Maybe they're tiny. Maybe that was the thing I swatted in my kitchen yesterday. Or, hey, a guy I arrested a couple weeks ago, he called himself 'Dragon' and I slayed his ass right into a cell. That counts, right? I mean, how many've you got, you've got no room to get judgy about my name.

[His totally real and accurate name. That's at least a little bit more accurate than he thought it was. That's convenient.]

Hm, if we have to quantify it (is that even the right word? whatever), maybe that counts. Only if the guy spat fire at you though, could he do that? That would honestly be pretty interesting. [Bless u Hank]

And me? Nah, they're all extinct. I mean if we were back home I could go kick a skull or something. That count?

I don't know, does the skull breathe fire?

[Is his sarcasm obvious enough? Hank is absolutely not taking seriously the idea that, to Cayde, dragons might be real enough to have gone extinct in the first place, but that doesn't mean he can't give the guy shit about it.]

Besides, plenty of dragons don't have the fire thing. There's...

[Shit, he doesn't know dick about mythology.]

...probably a lot of Chinese ones. Besides, Dragon-the-hooligan could spit like a motherfucker. Not fire, but having mouth stuff going on, that's a dragon thing, right?

Edited 2018-09-08 00:25 (UTC)

Hey, I'm being honest here, cross my heart. A friend of mine has one slung up in his corner, he's real proud of it. One hell of a story if he's in the mood for telling it.

[It's alright, Hank, Cayde has zero idea of any old mythology beyond tall tales. There could absolutely have been dragons that didn't breathe fire.]

Mouth stuff, huh. Mouth. Stuff. [Is he grinning? Absolutely.]

So mouth stuff is now a requirement to be a dragon, huh? Bet there are a lot of dragons out there then.

[He's about decided to go with it on the idea of some guy having a real dragon skull, because this night is pretty weird already so what the hell, when he catches on to what Cayde is saying and breaks into loud, surprised laughter.]

So what do you do when you wanna, uh, slay one? You don't want to just slay any old Joe off the street, you got to know what you're dealing with. So how do you tell? Just go up to em and make sure you ask real nice?

test drive meme # 3

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oh my god hank

hank's good at this being friendly thing

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